For those of you who have heard me refer to my "partner in crime," meet icecrystal45.

*waves at her*

Remember "P.J." and "Laura"? Well, their real life versions (aka Nicole and Devon) belong to her. And trust me, they're angels in my fics. Comparatively. *g*

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I am having a devil of a time getting Justice League on tape. Mostly because I'm a dork, although my wacky schedule helps too.

Does anyone have the series so far on tape and could make copies for me? I can pay for tapes and shipping, and I'll write you fic. *puppy dog eyes* pleeeeeeease?

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Finally, prawn! *g*

Fandom: Smallville
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Taxes. Porn. You get the idea.
For my Taxfic Challenge

Thanks to tstar78 and elvisneedsboats for their usual wonderful beta, icecrystal45 for the accounting beta (while tipsy, even!) and everyone who nudged me to finish it. :)



"So, can I deduct the suit?" Clark asked, running a finger
up Lex's back.

"Cost and cleaning of uniforms, deductible business
expense," Lex said absently. He hitched his glasses up a
bit. Clark was never sure if they were for reading purposes
or just to turn him on. "Form 2106. As long as you can
prove you wouldn't normally wear them in everyday--" He
stopped and looked at Clark. "Never mind. Not an issue."

"The glasses?"

"As long as no one notices you don't need them, yeah.
Deductible medical expenses. Of course, those are limited.
You have to subtract seven and a half percent of your
adjusted gross income first." Lex frowned and pushed at
the glasses again. "Dammit, I lost my place." He pulled
the calculator closer. "Your retirement plans are a
disaster. Your dividends are in three different places.
And why you can't just keep your receipts in a shoebox like
everyone else, I don't know. Plus, even as a superhero, is
there any reason not to use the cash method of accounting?
Accrual is just--"

"Lex?"

"Yeah?"

There was a whoosh of air, and Lex was flat on his back, a
couple of copies of the Publication 17 thoughtfully
cushioning his head. "Say accrual again."

Lex's eyes darkened. "Accrual."

"Mmm..." Clark's hands were busy on the button of Lex's
slacks. "You just keep talking taxes, and I'm gonna blow
you, okay?"

"Um. Okay. Um..." Lex's voice wavered. "It's important
to remember that charitable deductions need to be
documented if you make a donation of more than $250 at one
time. And goods and services can be...Jesus, Clark...can
be deducted at their fair market value...oh, God..."

***

"I love to hear about fair market value." Clark's breath
was hot through Lex's shirt. He shuddered, feeling Clark's
lips through the silk. "Is that like blue book value?"

"No, really, it's more of, um..." Lex was amazed that his
mouth was still moving. He laced his fingers into Clark's
hair and didn't guide him so much as follow along. "It's
just what it says, what you could get for it on the open
market...fuck, Clark, just like that...if you sold it..."

"Mm-hm?" Clark's interested hum made Lex's eyes cross.

"Can I stop talking now, please?"

Clark lifted his head, dislodging Lex's hands. Lex bit
down until he tasted blood. He was *not* going to beg
Clark to keep going. He wasn't.

"Oh, no. Keep talking." Clark's lips were moist and his
eyes were shining with something approaching smugness. Lex
made a note to kick his ass soon. "I want to hear more
about accrual."

"Fuck you." Lex's voice was hoarse. Clark just smiled.
And didn't fucking *move.*

"Accrual, Lex."

"Accrual." Lex licked the blood off his lip and tried to
order his brain back into play. Only with Clark did it
shut down this far, this fast. "Okay. Wally uses the cash
method of accounting, right? So if he buys a new costume
in December and it's delivered in January, he deducts it
for December because that's when he wrote the check."

"And bounced it, probably. Wally's not very good with
money."

"Clark. I don't *care.*"

Clark ran one finger along the underside of Lex's cock.
Lex whimpered. "I haven't heard the A word."

"When *you* buy a new cape, or wreck the Fortress and have
to repair it - again - you deduct it in the year it
happens, not the year you pay for it. Because your first
accountant was obviously on crack."

"My first accountant was Batman."

"Well, that's your problem. Never let a paranoid insomniac
vigilante do your taxes. Anyway, *your* method of doing
things is accrual."

It was indeed the magic word. One large, warm hand settled
on each of Lex's hips, and Clark returned to his blowjob
duties.

"I suppose in a lot of ways it's more accurate," Lex said
to the ceiling as Clark all but swallowed him whole, "but
it's much harder to keep track of. And it's most effective
for people who have to write off a lot of bad debt...God,
Clark, your tongue...but not many people stiff Superman,
so...oh, fuck. Please, Clark? *Please*?"

Clark's tongue hit just the right spot, and Lex's vision
grayed out as he came.

When sight and hearing returned, Clark was leaning on the
desk next to him, running one hand soothingly over Lex's
stomach. "You've convinced me," he said.

"I what?"

"I should definitely switch to the cash method of
accounting."

"Oh?" Lex settled his glasses back into place. "Uh, you
should?"

"Absolutely." Clark leaned down to kiss Lex. "But only if
you promise to always do my taxes with your pants off."